Lying awake at night, mind racing with worries? This is a common struggle, and experts have identified effective strategies to break the cycle. Instead of fighting your thoughts, shift how you approach them. Psychologist Ethan Kross, Ph.D., author of Chatter, proposes two simple yet powerful techniques for quieting a restless mind.
The 2 AM Technique: Distant Self-Talk
Humans naturally give better advice to others than to themselves. Kross’ method leverages this: talk to yourself in the third person. Instead of thinking, “I’m going to fail,” try, “What would I tell a friend in this situation?” This small linguistic shift creates emotional distance, making it easier to offer rational perspective.
Temporal Distancing: The Bigger Picture
To reinforce this effect, combine distant self-talk with temporal distancing. Ask yourself: Will this matter next week? Next year? Most immediate stressors lose their intensity over time. This “mental time travel” helps realize that many problems aren’t permanent crises.
Kross himself uses this approach when he wakes up worried. He asks himself, “How will I feel about this tomorrow?” The answer is almost always: better. Hope, he notes, is a potent antidote to overthinking.
“It is much easier for us to give advice to other people than to ourselves when we are experiencing chatter.”
– Ethan Kross, Ph.D.
Preventing the Cycle
These techniques are most effective when applied during a thought spiral. However, adopting a relaxing evening routine can prevent the chatter from starting in the first place. Prioritizing sleep hygiene—a consistent bedtime, dimming lights, and avoiding screens—sets the stage for a calmer night.
The key is perspective. By distancing yourself from immediate anxieties, you can interrupt negative thought loops and reclaim control of your sleep.
